Can’t the Philadelphia Flyers go one day with just being normal?
Apparently not, as there was a report today from NBC Sports Philadelphia’s Jordan Hall about a “Mystery Skater” before practice that the press was banned from seeing.
Obviously that got Flyers Twitter (I will NEVER call it “X”) riled up, as fans speculated who the mystery skater was.
Now, there are obviously players on the team that are dealing with an injury, such as Cam York and Sam Ersson, so it was most likely one of those two. BUT, what if it wasn’t? Who would be the funniest people to be taking the ice at the Flyers Training Center in Voorhees?
Ryan Ellis
The Flyers’ third highest points per game player (min 4 games played) in franchise history finally returns. Chuck Fletcher has a tears streaming down his face in his corner office at the New Jersey Devils facility after playing NHL 25 franchise mode all morning repeatedly saying to himself “See I was right the entire time. He WAS coming back.”
Ellis still under contract and while he is Long Term IR eligible, he has not officially been placed on the LTIR his season after being placed on it the past couple seasons. Could you imagine Ryan Ellis coming back and playing all season like he did in his first four games here? I’d honestly laugh.
Ryan Johansen
As of right now, the Flyers and Johansen are fighting a contract termination that allegedly stems from a video of Johansen dancing at his wedding after claiming a major injury that somehow prohibited him from playing hockey the second he got traded to Philly last season.
We really haven’t heard much else about the whole ordeal, so maybe all that is behind the two sides.
My guess is that Danny Brière “parent-trapped” Johansen and John Tortorella and made them make up. I mean, the Flyers have zero centers on the NHL roster that can play legitimate top 6 minutes right now. Who knows, but imagine we see Johansen’s name pop up on a lineup card this season. That would be hilarious after this entire kerfuffle.
Jaromír Jágr
Former Flyers legend Jaromír Jágr is currently in his 33rd professional hockey season. Yes, you read that right, his 33rd professional hockey season. He is currently rostered on Rytíři Kladno, where he’s played since 2018-2019. Matvei Michkov currently has little to no help around him when it comes to goal scorers. Maybe the Flyers went out and got him one opf the greatest of all time. Is it time to dust off those 2011-2012 Jágr jerseys?
Phil Kessel
This one would be funny just because I would LOVE to see how John Tortorella’s coaching style and Phil Kessel’s play style would complement (or more likely completely repel) each other. Flyers do need goal scoring and if there’s one thing Kessel does at an exceptional level, it’s score goals. I would also love to see him pounding hot dogs and Cokes in between shifts. That man is who I strive to be as I grow older.
Yegor Zavragin
Yet another KHL goalie prospect in the Flyers’ pipeline comes over after Sam Ersson gets hurt last game. The last time there was a secret player in Voorhees, it was another stud Russian teenager.
Zavragin is going absolutely bananas in the KHL this season, and we all know the Flyers don’t have great goalies this year.
Flyers Goalie Machine go BRRRR?
Danny Brière/John LeClair/Patrick Sharp
Now imagine if Brière/LeClair/Sharp got so fed up with the lack of offense this season, one of them went full Thanos saying “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” If I was one of the best goal scorers in NHL history, I would be sick to my stomach too watching the guys try to finish so far this year.
Claude Giroux
He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaack. I would’ve loved to see G and Michkov on a line together. I always thought G was better on the left wing, where he played more early in his career, especially on the power play. Imagine him and Michkov on opposite sides just hockey IQ-ing the other team to death in their defensive zone. I’m sad thinking about what could’ve been now.
Cutter Gauthier
I don’t think there needs to be a long drawn out explanation for this one. After everything that’s happened over the past year and a half between Gauthier and the Flyers, this would objectively be the number one funniest person that could’ve been on the ice in Voorhees this morning.
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